So, You Want a Confident Man?I'm working on a new internet singles profile. I think it's time to be brutally honest:It amazes me how many women's profiles on the internet start out, "I'm looking for a confident man."
What you don't realize is that the only people who are blindly confident in themselves are those that are too stupid to realize their own limitations.
I am constantly wracked by self-doubt. But, self-doubt is not a bad thing; it often protects one from making really stupid decisions. Note that I say, "often."
There are some things about myself of which I am sure:
I tested out at the genius level on every I.Q. test I ever took. Unfortunately, as my ex was fond of saying, "Genius I.Q. is not an indicator of future financial succss."
I cannot work at something which I do not find personally rewarding. I become incredibly bored when I don't enjoy what I do, and then do it very poorly. Unfortunately, I have found nothing as personally rewarding as journalism, which pays very poorly, hence the proof of my ex's hypothosis about I.Q. and financial success.
I am a very talented writer but I don't have enough ambition to become hugely successful. I am not driven to succeed, and am happy doing what I do for a small newspaper in a medium-sized market.
When I find the right woman, I will make her deliriously happy. I like romance: I do little things like hide poetry in among the classified ads, I buy flowers for no reason, I like to cook candlelight dinners (and I'm a damn good cook), I love to touch and feel my lover's body in ways that are sensuous but not overtly sexual, and, by all reports, I'm great in bed.
When I fall for a woman, I give her my whole heart. I could no more cheat on a committed partner than I could commit murder.
I don't expect my partner to be perfect. I am easy-going, and willing to put up with almost any imperfection in my partner, as long as she is willing to put up with mine. But, begin nitpicking my failings, and you can expect me to point out one of yours for every one of mine you feel the need to address. I call bullshit when I see it, and I will not brook hypocrisy.
I often make stupid decisions when I think with my heart. These include:
spending 20 years with an abusive, self-loathing bitch; falling for a much taller, skinnier, prettier self-loathing bitch; and falling again for an incredibly beautiful, passionate, intelligent, rich, self-centered woman who could be a real bitch when she became angry, and in the words of my therapist, has "portions of her personality that are not fully integrated."
So, yes, I'm wracked with self-doubt. Self-doubt is the curse of high intelligence.
Only stupid people are sure of themselves. Just look to the White House for proof of that.
