A Sad, Sad Story

People have often asked how I became the man I am. So, I am publishing my official bio from Red Flag Publishing here for the first time.

Biff Humble was raised in a Las Vegas topless bar by his dancer mother. Biff never knew his father, although it was rumored to be Hunter S. Thompson. He spent most of his formative years backstage, waxing his mother's fellow dancers. Certain that there was more to life than a career as a professional depilatorist, Biff saved enough money for the cheapest bus ticket available, which just happened to be a Greyhound special to a small Midwestern town.

Biff Before the Accident

Once there, he decided to follow in his father’s footsteps, and enrolled in the journalism program at the local state university.It was there that Biff met his lifelong friend James, another journalism student, when he found himself vomiting in the toilet next to him at a local punk rock bar. James was also studying journalism, and while the two were polar opposites in temperament - Biff outgoing and gregarious; James quiet and reserved- they developed a friendship that lasted throughout college.After graduation they went their separate ways and lost touch for a number of years, as Biff traveled to Central America as a war correspondent, while James went to work for a small town daily paper and settled down to raise a family.

Biff at War Correspondent Training Camp

Biff Working on a Tan in El Salvador


Biff became independently wealthy when the rights to a book he wrote detailing the clandestine programs approved by the CIA (under a former director who would later become president) were purchased by a political party and all copies of the manuscript classified top secret.Biff began spending his riches in earnest, launching a career as a fashion photographer and becoming a regular on the New York City club circuit.

Biff After the Accident

Things seemed to be going well, until he was horribly disfigured in a freebase cocaine explosion at a well-known New York nightclub. Since then he has lived as a recluse, his only contact with the outside world through the Internet.

Recently Biff launched Red Flag Publishing with the money he received in a settlement with the nightclub that was the scene of his accident.